Conduct a self-assessment
Reflect on how you’ve responded to situations in the past and figure out why those interactions had a positive or negative conclusion. Griswold notes that it is important to recognize that your emotions impact others. Ask yourself whether you care and are willing to change.
Find an honest mentor
Compare your self-assessment with a mentor’s observations. The best person for this role is someone who is trustworthy and isn’t afraid to have difficult conversations. “The worst-case scenario for a mentor is someone who says ‘No, you do you. Others need to adapt to you,’” Griswold says.
Learn from different approaches
Sometimes the emotionally intelligent response is to not say anything, while in other cases it is best to walk away and reply later. “Don’t beat yourself up over different setbacks that you might experience, because each setback is closer to creating your new and improved emotional intelligence norm,” Griswold says.